The more I talk about what I do, the more I realize that our little spiritual and meditation world is overdue for a shake up.
The Sacred Spiritual Heart Touch
I was talking with a fellow at a party, and when he discovered that I was a monk and that I teach meditation, he began to tell me about his journeys to India and Nepal and rattle off esoteric spiritual philosophy.
Recognizing that he was among his tribe, he came over to me with a big smile, and as he was reaching to touch my chest, he asked, “Do you mind if I put my hand on your heart?”
I said, “Yes, I mind.”
I think he was shocked. Not what he was expecting, I’m sure.
Later, he was more cautious talking with me, and I was 100% okay with that.
The Sacred Spiritual Hug
Another time, a guy I had never met came to one of our group meditation sessions a bit early. He must’ve heard some elevated things about me because as soon as I entered the doorway, he came toward me with a big grin and arms wide out wanting to hug me.
This will sound awful coming from a former monk, but after I hugged him (I couldn’t escape it), I said out loud to myself, “that was strange.” Yes, that does sound awful, doesn’t it?
The person who invited the guy, exclaimed, “Michael!” as if she was mortified.
It’s not that I didn’t accept him as he was.
It’s not that I didn’t want him to be with us.
But there is a fuzzy expectation of how a spiritual teacher should act.
What Would You Do?
Let’s look at it from a different point of view. What if you arrived at a business event and a man you never met came right for you with a big smile and arms wide open indicating he was going to give you a hug? It would be... weird, wouldn’t it?
“Who is this person? Why is he wanting to touch me?”, would be some very normal questions that’d come to your mind. But you might not say them out loud, and instead hide your feelings just to be “polite”. And then do your best to stay away from him.
Sure, maybe someone was praising you beforehand. But so? Unless you are known as “that amazing hugging person who gives out free hugs on the street corner,” it’s definitely not normal. You weren’t agreeing to hug anyone before you arrived.
So what’s the difference between the two scenarios? Why should one be acceptable and the other not?
The Sacred Spiritual Greeting
If I hang around spiritual people enough, I’ll inevitably receive a bow and a “namaste”.
I’ll likely sense right away that the person isn’t Hindu, but that they expect that they should do that around me, a former monk spiritual teacher.
I think they’re a bit shocked when I don’t do it right back. I mean, I smile and I’m happy to see them, but every single time this happens, it’s this odd cultural appropriation that inevitably makes the conversation become serious and stiff.
A “hello” or “goodbye” with a genuine smile does the job just fine.
The Sacred Spiritual Iconography
This used to be me. A seeming integral part of how spiritual people telegraph their spirituality to others is by a predictable fashion style.
Baggy clothes. Hindu iconography. Crystals anyone?
Sure I dig that stuff too from time to time, they’re neat, but I don’t need to display them to signal my values.
I don’t need a scared spiritual tattoo either. You know, the ones that look similar to this symbol:
ૐ
Why have one? Oh, I’ve heard the explanations before. They fall apart the more one knows what they’re doing and why. When you know how electricity works, you don’t need to tattoo a circuit design on your arm thinking it will help you.
A Call for Normalcy
We don’t have to tell normal people to “just be normal.” No ho ho! Why? Because they’re already have a sense of what is weird and what isn’t. They have a street sense.
But you do have to tell spiritual people to “be normal”—because they’ve almost certainly got a whole deck of strange expectations.
By expressing these spiritual stereotypes—the heartfelt touches, the hugs, the namaste’s, the tattoos—it reinforces this unspoken belief that they need to be present if someone is to be taken seriously as a spiritual being.
I think there’s not a little insecurity in that. Like if you don't express it, then you’re not spiritual.
Which begs the question: if you are experiencing the stillness of your soul quietly within, then why do you need to telegraph to others that you’re experiencing it? What does that image give you? Why not just experience It?
It’s this self-perpetuating thing that will only stop if one person—you?—decides to question it.
A Brave New World
Now back to the larger topic from the point of view of consciousness.
Just because you don’t hug everyone you see doesn’t mean you are not experiencing peace and union. Union doesn’t look nor act a certain way. Sorry!
But let’s be honest and admit that self-absorbed, manipulative people take full advantage of this very expectation and create a “spiritual” self-image to control others. It’s quite common.
On the other hand, truly spiritual people, who know their soul and live from it, do not act any special “spiritual” way—you wouldn’t be able to recognize them if they walked up to you in a crowd.
So fellow spiritual seekers, let’s be brave and question why we do all those expected spiritual things.
Let’s bravely be normal.
Let’s advance our cause to others, confidently in our inner experience of soul.
This oddness just won’t fly anymore, and in fact will just turn people away.
Anyway. Namaste.
(joking!)